Written by Nia Patterson
Self-care is something that is often talked about, but not always put into action or truly addressed. For many people, self-care can sometimes seem like an impossible or daunting task. How are you supposed to take care of yourself when you're feeling depressed and absolutely overwhelmed? It can seem like way too much work. But that doesn't have to be the case. We will discuss five ways you can practice self-care, even on your hardest days.
Asking For Help When You Need It
Asking for help is something that is often very difficult for people with depression, anxiety, or just mental illness in general. It takes a lot of courage to ask someone else for assistance when you're feeling overwhelmed and down. But sometimes we have to do it because it's so important that we have support outside of just ourselves. Even an act as small as asking a friend or family member if they have time to chat with you can make all the difference in your day.
Realistic self-care isn't about taking huge leaps forward always or doing big things that are way too overwhelming; sometimes self-care is as small as asking someone if they will listen while you talk out what's on your mind. Asking for help can do wonders for helping relieve some of the overwhelm that you may be feeling every now and then (or more often than not) throughout your days and weeks!
Getting Outside for a Few Minutes
When we're feeling so very down, getting up to do just about anything can feel paralyzing. But I swear that one thing that can help is if you try and get outside for just a few minutes and see the sun. Heck, if you can't go outside even, then open the window in your room or pull back the blinds. And on days when it's cold or raining outside, still getting some air can go miles in bringing you back to reality.
It's never easy to drag yourself out of your home when you're feeling down. In fact, it's probably the last thing you want to do (it is for me) but it's worth it in the end! Just two or five minutes outside can make a huge difference in how you're feeling mentally and emotionally.
Making Sure You're Eating Enough Food Throughout the Day
One of the most important things you can do for yourself when you're feeling overwhelmed, depressed, or anxious is to make sure that you're still eating enough food. You really may not want to eat, your appetite may have disappeared, you might hate the sound or idea of food but you still have to eat and nourish your body. I know it's hard to want to eat anything at all when you're feeling down (especially if you have or are in recovery from an eating disorder) but if you don't take care of your body, then it definitely won't reciprocate, and take care of you.
Depriving your body of essential nutrients and nourishment will tank your mood even further, much faster. And as a result, you will most likely feel even more tired, become hangry AF, and just not yourself. It's so important to make sure you're eating throughout the day and that you're getting as many snacks and meals in as you can.
Reaching Out to Friends If You Need Them
This one is pretty self-explanatory. I know when I'm depressed making time for or setting up plans to see my friends takes a backseat. I'm living in a world where isolation becomes my top priority. I don't want to shower and I don't want people to be around me if I haven't so I avoid them even more.
However, just talking to your friends about what's going on, even if you don't leave the house to go see them, or sharing how you're feeling in the moment, and letting them in by having an open conversation can actually end up being super duper helpful and relieving of some of your built-up stress and anxiety. You may not even have realized how much stress and anxiety you've been accumulating while you've been going through such a rough time.
Our friends are there for us when we need them the most. They genuinely want to help us get through whatever it is that we're currently facing. So don't be afraid to call them or reach out to them.
Getting in Some Solid Zone-Out Time
One way to practice self-care that can be helpful but also sometimes harmful is taking time to just zone out and let our brains relax. Self-care doesn't always mean doing something productive or super active. Really, self-care can be as simple as giving yourself permission (this is the important part!) to relax and have a little downtime throughout the day. This way you're not constantly on alert due to anxiety or carrying around your depression, or whatever is making your day worse than usual. Instead of sitting with those intense feelings 24/7, you're allowed to take a break. Scroll Instagram, Tiktok, or Youtube. Zone out to your favorite playlist. Go through all the cat memes. Whatever you need to do to get some clear space and time in your head is okay. Give yourself that permission to relax!
So, overall, yes, hard days do happen. And they suck. And they feel overwhelming and your anxiety might be kicking your butt. And that is all super valid! 110% valid and your feelings matter.
I'm just here to help give you some ideas of ways you can lessen the overwhelm and darkness and maybe find a little light on those hard days.
There are definitely a multitude of ways to practice self-care, on your good days but for some of us that is just inaccessible on our harder days. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. Taking care of yourself is not always going to be easy, but it will be worth it in the end. And don't forget that you're not alone in this. You have people who care about you and want to help you through whatever it is that you're facing today and everyday.
Reach out if you need help. You got this!
[Nia Patterson is a well-respected Black and Queer mental health advocate, social activist, artist, content creator, podcaster, and business owner.
She is the creator behind @TheFriendINeverWanted and artist behind @SelfLoveToolChest. They are also the host and producer of the Body Trauma Podcast you can listen to here and also on Instagram @bodytraumapod.
Their work is mainly centered around the Eating Disorder Recovery, Fat Activism, LGBTQIA+, and Self Love communities.
Nia is passionate about advocating for people in marginalized bodies and seeks to bring resources to those who do not readily see representation and healthcare for themselves.]